Wanda Sykes and George Lopez: New Talk Show Alert!

Two new talk shows are getting ready to launch: "The Wanda Sykes Show" on FOX, and and George Lopez's "Lopez Tonight" on TBS. Sykes' program will only be airing on Saturdays, while Lopez will be on four nights a week, beginning Monday.

What can viewers expect? There will be guests, of course -- Eva Longoria-Parker, Ellen DeGeneres and Kobe Bryant on Lopez's show; Mary Lynn Rajskub, Daryl "Chill" Mitchell and "Amazing Race" host Phil Keoghan are slated to appear on the debut of "Sykes."

According to an Associated Press story, "Lopez promises to bring 'the party back to late-night,' signaling a looser, hipper hour in the tradition of 'The Arsenio Hall Show,' said analyst Bill Carroll of media buyer Katz Television in New York. Sykes is planning Bill Maher-type panels with both lighthearted and serious discussion of politics and culture as part of her mix."

Sykes gave TV Guide's Natalie Abrams a rundown of what she's got in store: "I will do a monologue. There's a piece with my friend Keith [Robinson]. This is the first time you'll actually see me with someone who knows me. I can't fake it with Keith, he knows me and he calls me on my bullshit. It'll be great to have that relationship. Also, we have what we call Wandarama, which is the weekend review. We'll have a lot of video clips and it'll end with a big produced three-minute piece. We have the panel guests with my other friend Porsche, who's a drag queen. I treat this show as my time where I can also hang out with my friends. There might not be some big celebrities come through, but it'll be my real friends."

Lopez told Access Atlanta blogger Rodney Ho that he "will have the basic tenets of a talk show: monologue, skits, interviews, musical acts. But he said the set will resemble a comedy club and he will move around the stage. He will use hand-held cameras to generate more of a party atmosphere."

Jay Leno: Could his show be moving to 11 PM?

It's only a rumor, of course, but what is the Internet for if not to spread unfounded rumors? Tom Jicha of South Florida's Sun-Sentinel passes on this possible scoop, which he heard from "a friend with inside ties to the TV business" -- if Comcast winds up buying a controlling stake in NBC, "The Jay Leno Show" could wind up moving to 11 PM, clearing the way for local newscasts at 10. That would leave Conan O'Brien's "Tonight" with the midnight slot, and bring back the head-to-head competition between David Letterman and his ol' rival Jay.

"The affiliates are justifiably upset that Leno's low-rated 10 p.m. show is hurting their late newscasts," writes Jicha. "Giving them a 10 p.m. news window in front of Leno alleviates that and gives local stations an hour with a substantially larger available audience." Presumably, the newscasts, now 35 minutes long, would expand to fill the entire 10-11 slot; a lot of FOX affiliates already do this, and many of them compete quite effectively with the network programs airing at that hour.

Jicha suggests that if Jay's show is airing between 11 and midnight, he could go back to frontloading it with Headlines and Jaywalking, signature features that are now relegated to the last 10 minutes of his program, in order to give him a "35-minute jump on David Letterman." Of course, that might mean people would watch Jay's monologue and comedy bits, and then switch over to Dave at 11:35 rather than endure the Green Car Challenge, 10 @ 10, or the other less-popular filler segments that Leno has introduced.

I have a better idea. Give the affiliates 10-11 PM; air an abbreviated "Jay Leno Show" from 11-11:35; and keep Conan in his current time slot. It seems obvious (to me, anyway) that moving "Tonight" to midnight would be a huge loss of prestige for the franchise, and not exactly a vote of confidence from NBC. But why on earth does Jay Leno need a full hour? He's never been a particularly good interviewer. He's a comedian. Monologue, Headlines, another short comedy segment, and out. The affiliates are happy, Leno doesn't have to pretend to be interested in what Sandra Bullock has to say, and Conan won't lose face.

You're welcome, NBC.

Stephen Colbert and Speedskating: Joey Cheek to appear on Thursday

On Monday's show, Stephen Colbert announced that the "Colbert Nation" would be sponsoring the U.S. Speedskating team, which had been left in the lurch after its biggest donor, Dutch bank DSB, declared bankruptcy in October. Speedskater Dan Jansen appeared on that episode, and on Thursday's "Report," another star of the sport will help Colbert plug his fund raising effort: Olympic gold medalist Joey Cheek. Cheek is a friend of the show, having appeared on Aug. 12, 2008, to promote his Team Darfur coalition.

Last night, Colbert reported that viewers had already donated $40,000 to the team. The show is hoping to raise $300,000, the amount that had been pledged by DSB.

According to an Associated Press story published before Colbert's campaign began, despite the fact that speedskating is responsible for more U.S. gold medals than any other Olympic sport, the athletes don't have it easy. "They work part-time jobs. They scrimp to pay the bills. Some even have filed for food stamps to make sure they get enough to eat."

Even before DSB went out of business, U.S. Speedskating already was planning to suspend its athlete stipends at the end of March, giving the organization a chance to reassess finances and decide how much it could afford to dole out at the start of the new fiscal year June 1.

"After March, everything shuts down," said Robert Crowley, the executive director of U.S. Speedskating. "We told the athletes, 'This is where it's going to end, so budget yourself accordingly.' We've tried to be real upfront and fair with them."

Hopefully, the heroes in the Colbert Nation will come through and support the athletes. "We're highly optimistic that the country is going to get behind this and get behind the Colbert Nation and support this amazing team," Crowley told the AP after his appearance on the "Report." "I don't have any idea if it's going to make $5 or $500,000. I couldn't tell you."

Colbert is reportedly considering taking his show on the road to Vancouver for next year's Winter Games.

According to this Time article, Colbert's staff contacted U.S. Speedskating and proposed the deal. Crowley wanted to make sure the show knew the sport was no laughing matter: "We stressed to the Colbert staff that we have exquisite athletes who have trained their entire lives for that Olympic platform. They can't minimize that. They get it, and they recognize that."

If you would like to help the cause, and feel that extra burst of patriotic pride when you see the Colbert Nation logo on the speedskaters' uniforms, you can make a donation at the US Speedskating web site.

Jey Leno's Rope-a-Dope Strategy

In his recent interview with Broadcasting & Cable, Jay Leno spoke candidly about all sorts of things. However, it did leave me with a couple of questions.

Number one: "Jay, are you having fun?" For all the talk about laughs at 10 PM, Leno appears to approach his job with a kind of grim determination. A couple illustrative quotes: "I think people like a fighter. And if you just keep swinging, eventually people are going to get tired of hitting you. They're going to say, 'We've been beating this guy up for six months, let's move on.'" And: "I get a certain amount of satisfaction from pounding my head against the wall."

Those statements made me think of Muhammad Ali's old "rope-a-dope" strategy, in which a fighter allows himself to be punched until his opponent tires out and starts making mistakes. It may be effective in certain circumstances, but you still wind up bruised and battered.

The only indication in the article that Leno enjoys what he's doing is this: "I like being on TV and writing jokes." Not exactly a passionate statement. If Jay had worked at a supermarket instead of becoming a comedian, he probably would have been like that 104-year-old who still stocked the shelves well into his eleventh decade, or a lottery winner who keeps his routine factory job after his big score. I admire his work ethic; I also wish his show was funnier.

Number two: "What's it like to be married to Jay Leno?" Forget about the Obamas, I want the dirt on the Leno marriage. Mavis Leno is, by all accounts, not one of those Beverly Hills ladies-who-lunch who fills her days with pilates classes and appointments with her plastic surgeon; she has been active for over 10 years in the Feminist Majority Foundation's Campaign to Stop Gender Apartheid in Afghanistan. Still, considering Jay's workaholism, as well as his time-consuming hobby of tinkering with old cars, this must be a woman who spends a lot of time on her own. Jay famously claims never to vacation; if he ever did go on a pleasure trip, he'd probably be one of those guys who plans the entire thing from a guidebook before he leaves home: "If we leave the Louvre by noon, we can get to the Eiffel Tower by one!" Does Mavis go off and see the world by herself or with girlfriends? David Letterman may not be a candidate for Husband of the Year, but at least he spends his breaks with Regina and Harry in Montana or St. Barts instead of playing Vegas showrooms or appearing at corporate gigs.

I did find one brief interview with both Lenos, and she alludes a couple times about the difficulty of adjusting to Jay's job at "Tonight" ("[H]e was gone a lot, and it was not only a new situation for him, it was a situation I had never experienced"). Since they're celebrating their 30th anniversary next year, she obviously managed to find a way to deal with it.

Jay Leno: "I never say 'no mas'"

In a lengthy interview with Broadcasting & Cable, Jay Leno talks about the reaction to his new show, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, and much more. A few highlights:

On negative press coverage: "You don't take it personally because there's really no fun in an upbeat story. The fun is, they did this and let's watch it fall. I enjoy being the underdog."

On "Tonight": "Would I have preferred to stay at 11:30? Yeah, sure. I would have preferred that. I think it's too soon to say whether I regret anything or not….My thing is, I did 'The Tonight Show' for 17 years, that's what I did. It's like the America's Cup; you won it, they can't take it away from you. So now you try this and you see what happens. Do I enjoy the battle? Yes, I get a certain amount of satisfaction from pounding my head against the wall."

On feeling satisfied because of Conan's lower ratings: "No. There is nothing that kills creativity more than bitterness. You get no satisfaction from that at all. You really, really don't."

On Letterman: "He's not being a hypocrite; Dave has never set himself up as [a model citizen]. If it were me, it would kill me. I'm the guy who's been married 29 years. But Dave has never pretended to be Mr. Moral America, he's never set himself up that way. He's not a hypocrite. I don't know how it will be viewed. He doesn't do corporate days like me, he's not as advertiser-friendly as I am. I'm the guy when Coke or Pepsi is here, I come down and shake hands and take pictures, but he doesn't do that. I don't think it will have a big effect at all."

On the affiliates: "I called a bunch of them last week. Unless they are the greatest actors in the world, they seem to be hanging in there and say they are in it for the long haul. I called Baltimore, Boston, the head of the affiliate board. They don't see it as dire as a lot of people are making it out to be….I think they seemed pleased that someone on at 10 o'clock is concerned about their well-being and their lead-in."

On his relationship with NBC: "I have the same friends I had in high school, and these [at NBC] are acquaintances. You have a business relationship; as long as you are making money for someone, you are friends. And when you're not making money for someone, you're not friends. I get it….As long I'm making money for the company, I will be here. When I'm not making money for the company, I won't be here, and I understand how that works."

Jay curses! Who knew? "I look at what makes other competitors weak: alcohol, drugs, sex, instability emotionally. And I go, 'OK, let me make myself strong by being the long-distance guy.' So I try to fashion myself on the fact that emotionally I can take it. Physically I tried boxing and I got the shit kicked out of me. But emotionally I can take body shots all day long and that doesn't really bother me. I realize that's where my strength is. I see other comics say, 'Fuck that, I'm not going back to that club, they treated me...' [And I say], 'Great, I got that one.'"

On giving up: "I never say 'no mas.' It's not my call. I've never walked away from anything in my life….This is what I do. You keep plowing ahead. If someone wants to take you out, I'm out."

Halloween Talk Show Round-up

It's November 1. You probably woke up either with a hangover or surrounded by discarded Fun Size Snickers wrappers -- or both. But did you have time on Halloween to catch up on all the ways our favorite talk shows celebrated the holiday? If not, now's the time to sit back and enjoy some clips.

Picking on Jay Leno is so tiresome, but honestly, his "new Halloween products" sketch was not ready for prime time -- or even public access, for that matter. There were a couple of major malfunctions, including a Balloon Boy costume that didn't inflate. It's no surprise that the video clip on NBC.com only shows the first half of the segment.

In the Talk Show News household, it's not Halloween without David Letterman's annual trick or treat sketch. Even if the costumes are just so-so, the bit is always worth watching just for Dave's interactions with the kids, and to see which "treats" he's handing out. Best costume this year: the junior Joaquin Phoenix. It was also fun to see the kids boogieing in the background as musical guest Weezer played -- kudos to them for convincing Paul Shaffer and the gang to dress in Weezer Snuggies. The clips are available on the "Late Show Video" page.

The most elaborate Halloween celebrations are always on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" and "Live with Regis and Kelly." Kimmel, his band and Guillermo (sadly, Uncle Frank is ill and was absent this year) dressed as Muppets -- Jimmy, in a Big Bird outfit, welcomed guest Paris Hilton, who was clad as Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz." The vapid Paris is not one of my favorite guests, but it was funny to see her admit to Jimmy that she had no idea who Alex Trebek was (he was asking her which celebrities would be let in to her Halloween party without an invitation) and bragging that she's bowled a 600. As for musicians Slipknot, well, every day is Halloween for this band that always plays in costumes and masks. Watch the show here.

Meanwhile, Regis and Kelly win the Most Costume Changes prize -- in their Reality Bites special, they dressed up as Jon and Kate, "Bachelor" Jason and Melissa, Susan Boyle and Lady Gaga, "Biggest Loser" trainers Bob and Jillian, and more. Check it out here.

There are only so many hours in the day, so I wasn't able to watch everything -- did anyone out there catch Conan, Craig or Jimmy's Halloween antics?

Craig Kilborn: Bearded Craiggers turns up in St. Paul

In my ongoing series on Craig Kilborn's whereabouts, here's a new report from a source in Minnesota:

I met Craig Kilborn last night in a restaurant in St. Paul, MN. He looked different but I recognized him even with his beard. I talked with him and his friend he was with about the great job he use to do on TV. I asked if he was going to be coming back anytime soon and he said, "Yes, very soon I'll be back." He seemed genuine about and I am looking forward to his return. I asked him where he was living now and he said L.A. For the people that think he is pompous or full of himself, I'm sure that was part of his "character" on the Late Late Show. This guy was cool, laid-back and extremely friendly. I met the Craiggers and it was awesome.

Kilborn grew up in Hastings, MN, so presumably he was in the area visiting family. Anyone else have a Craiggers sighting to report? You know where to send 'em.